All my life I have had this calling inside of me. A deep compass. I have searched using this enteral compass for what seems most of my life. Some were involuntary and some were voluntary. But I felt that I was still in need of something else. Something more! So I continued to search! I was supposed to come to Puerto Rico when Hurricane Maria hit. I was currently working with FEMA. At that time me coming to Puerto Rico was too dangerous, so I wasn’t able to go. But still deep inside of me even after the hurricane, there was this strong pull calling me to the island. So I made the jump. I sold everything I owned I worked almost 80 hours a week to just save up and go and I did that all in just a matter of months. I ended up leaving with two suitcases and my 11 year old bulldog who is no longer with me today.
The day my life changed and the day I found home was on Feb 2nd 2020. I have never visited the small island before, I was scared and excited all at once. I remember even that Sunday I had a complete panic attack about not having a job or knowing the culture or language. At this time I was living in San Juan, a lifestyle I wasn’t used to. A lifestyle I was intimidated by. I didn’t let that stop me though. Instead I got a full time job as a barback. I was the only one who didn’t know the language, it was challenging but not impossible. I saw life of the island and felt the breeze each day on my face being I worked just a few steps away from the beach. I loved it. The people the chaos. It was all paradise to me in one way or another. I started to quickly fit in and I found my way of communication and it was a perfect little life. Then as like the rest of us, COVID had taken everything from us. Our jobs, our health, our freedom, it seemed impossible to get through or even to get anything back.
I then decided to move, more to the center of the island. I don’t know why, again something was pulling me to the direction I needed to go. It was harder than the city, it was a tiny town called Lares. I was the only English speaking person there. But everyone was so kind and patient. I was still missing something though. I found the mountains yes but something else was calling me. So I moved further to the west closer to the town Rincón closer to the beach. Immediately I fell in love! The people, the art, the music, the individuality, the food, sports and just the culture surrounding you. I knew I was home. Though I found home I was still unsure of what I wanted to do with my life.
I started to find the people I was able to start calling family, people that saw me for me and loved me unconditionally, from the moment I moved in with my roommate in San Juan that showed me the way. It always believed in me, to the woman that saw who I was and helped me through the toughest times mentally to a man that does my dreadlocks each month for two years who I completely trust with my life and to the woman that taught me how to become a mythical creature and overcome certain fears, and even more so to the man that has made my life the best experience ever, to that man that has given me everything and I know he will continue to do so with unconditional love and standing by my side. These amazing people are a massive inspiration to me, and all these amazing people and how they are still in my life and how much I love each and everyone of them is so very special.
But again I felt I was missing out on something.
Then on November 12 of 2021 I found my purpose. Or at least where I am supposed to be in my life. All my life I have been afraid of the water more or less what I couldn’t see beneath me. I have always dreamed of things like being a treasure hunter, or a mermaid, or swim with sharks and even being in love! All things that to me were just fairy tales. They wouldn’t ever come true! Till one day they actually did come true. When I say how fearful of the water I was I can’t really explain it unless you are one of the ones that fear water just as I did. So when I was faced with certain options in my life it was then that I made the decision. I became an intern at a local dive shop to start my diving career! I KNOW RIGHT, who would have known? The first dive I did was on December 12 2021, I was HOOKED. It was like everything just switched in me. I found peace, and I even found my God my church! The second dive I did was a night dive. I was absolutely TERRIFIED speechless actually before the Dive and as many of you know, I am not one a few words. But I did it and I loved it. I loved it to the point so much that it’s my focus is giving people an amazing experience under the water especially at night. Who would have thought how much more life there is when the sun goes down. It’s like a party under the water, and I want to be a part of it and I think everyone else should too at least once in their lifetime.
In this journey of mine I have also found another little purpose. When I am under the water, I pick up trash, fishing lines I have to pull up and cut, hooks trapped on the reefs and or in fish/shark mouths. So I take these things and I turn them into recycled treasures from the sea , A Sirens Treasure. Not only do I want to bring awareness to the dangers of this pollution in the water. I tend to find the beauty in things that are broken, lost or just ugly in someone’s else’s eyes. I take these things and bring them back to life and into a magical treasure to share with the world. And I hope you all can do the same with my spirit and passion when I am no longer here in this world. All I’ve ever wanted to do was make an impact on anyone I have ever met and I hope I have done just that in the most positive way.
when I found out I had cancer, All I’ve ever wanted to do was make sure that the people around me are happy, and that I am impacted their life in someway that they will remember me and know who I was, and what I stood behind. I just hope that in my last days I’m able to give back what everyone else has given me and the only way to do that is by me starting this journey.
